You may feel you are uniquely cursed on this issue, but I can assure you that such perceived “failings” are common among parents, who are, as we occasionally forget, human beings first and foremost. But we aren’t, so when biology lets us down we need to use our brains to get to the bottom of that malfunction. It would be nice if every child was equally lovable, if every adult was equally just and kind and if we, as a species, were close to perfection. When the going gets tough we have the capability to overcome most obstacles and the ability to change and adapt. It’s frustrating to have to dig around for what might come easily to others, but the ability to overcome such emotional hurdles and achieve a deeper understanding of our individual hard-wiring is what earns us our crown as the most intelligent species. You may have had postnatal depression with your firstborn The situation you describe is one where nature isn’t kicking in as it’s meant to. Although our capacity for love is infinite, it’s not always available in duplicate, and comparison may not be the best way to evaluate the level of our love. But like rivers that get clogged and fail to flow smoothly, our own channels can become diverted or blocked by experiences beyond those we are built to withstand. In the absence of psychological hurdles, when our hearts and minds respond as they are programmed to, instinctive behaviour can be relied upon. When I first laid eyes on my son and found my heart had expanded in that instant to encompass him I was surprised, relieved and reminded that biology is a miraculous thing. I remember, before my second child was born, being terrified I wouldn’t have enough room in my heart for another baby, that somehow my daughter had used up all my emotional bandwidth. As you say, there are plenty of parents with similar qualms. It’s not easy to accept that your feelings for your children differ and it’s equally challenging to admit it publicly in these censorious times – not that you have anything to be ashamed of. I make an effort to spend one-on-one quality time with her, which we enjoy, but it doesn’t help. She’s a wonderful, kind, intelligent and funny girl that I want to love, but something is blocking my feelings towards her. I feel like the nature of my relationship with both of them was forever formed right there and then. When she was born, it took me several weeks to make a meaningful emotional connection with her – unlike with her brother, where it formed as soon as he was put in my arms. I do feel love for her, I’m protective of her and her happiness, and her health and wellbeing are so important to me, but something is missing and I don’t know how to achieve it, or why it’s happened. I know it’s common to love one child more than another, but what bothers me is that my daughter isn’t loved as much as she deserves, and not nearly as much as I would like to love her. Her grandchildren Izumi Mori and Hikari Mori are fashion models.The dilemma I’m a mother to a girl ( four) and a boy ( two) and I love my son more than my daughter. She is survived by two sons, who are active in her fashion business, Japanese media said. In 2002, she was awarded the Legion of Honor from the French government. She also designed for the opera, including "Madame Butterfly" in Milan in 1985, and the Noh theater. The elaborate costumes she designed for singer Hibari Misora are also well-known among fashion buffs. Reputed for infusing Japanese elements inspired by the kimono, Mori designed costumes for hundreds of Japanese films, in the 1950s and 1960s, dressing star actresses like Mie Kitahara, Sayuri Yoshinaga and Shima Iwashita, in some of the most renowned cinematic pieces the era produced. She opened her Paris studio in 1977 and built an international business that extended to perfumes and publishing as well as fashion. Her first New York show, held in 1965, was acclaimed as "East meets West." She opened her studio in 1951 and was a pioneer of a generation of Japanese designers who became globally prominent. Her umbrellas and scarves, often decked with colorful butterflies, were popular with working women as a kind of status symbol. With her motto, "You feel decent, no matter where in the world you wear them," Mori wanted to give confidence and dignity to the wearer. Art & Design The 'visible mending' trend of fixing clothes can be traced to a Japanese tradition
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